Yes, I did make it home. I have struggled with what to say, and I am still struggling.
Mostly, I feel like I have been in Oz. I left just after Christmas in 2004, and returned home on New years day 2006. A Christmas tree was still up, although not the same tree (I hope). A year had passed, but I was stepping back in to my life as if I hadn't left. I don't have the words yet to describe the disconnect I feel sometimes.
I was in this place. Some people I knew died. I didn't. I came home. The only thing that place and this one have in common is me, and sometime I feel like I don't belong in either. I would rather be here. Most of the time anyway. I will belong to this world, not that one. I will not be wearing an "OIF" hat 20 years from now.
Maybe, someday, if I try real hard, I may even believe that the network news isn't fiction.
Oh, and since the Dow is finally above 11,000 again, I am convinced that the Street wants Cheney to shoot more Lawyers.
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7 comments:
Welcome back, my friend. I share the 'disconnect' that you mentioned. It's time to make money and/or do something with myself, and I'm not sure what (yet). Keep writing... even if it's in a new space -- keep writing. It sustains an appropriate connection. It was good to 'see' you again here. All the best. -tommi
I've been looking for your return and so happy to know you are back home with family safely.
You call it "The land of Oz" ...... and I was thinking you'd find it more like "Alice in Wonderland" on your return.
After reading some of the Iraqui blogs (and specially for the link to Days of My Life) that I was able to link to, I'm thinking that a lot of the so-called news we get is fabrication.
Please, do keep writing. Somehow I feel it can help you reclaim the life you left behind.
Having "prayed" my way through the WWII, Korea, Vietnam, the 1st Gulf War, and now this one, thanks be that you are home.
Blessings on you and your loved ones,
Mary
I have been checking daily to welcome you back home and with your family. Thanks for a job well done and for your comments -- I would rather read YOUR blog than anything the newspapers or media reports!
Mustang,
Only you know. But we know that we respect you. We know that we wish you the best. We know that you have done something important even as you have lost something important. For that I thank you.
What?! You were gone?! Well, you know how we share humor. I missed you, so glad you are back. Perhaps soon, we can continue a taste of that special bottle of Jack...well..your own personal massuese, bartender, driver, pal, confidant and if ever needed, covering your six
Thank you so much for your service. God Bless America.
Horrific things happen on a small scale like losing a child, to the large scale war... Either one that an individual experiences, changes them, how much it changes a person depends on how they experienced it.
The damage never really goes away but we learn to go on and sustain, and in time, maybe two years maybe 15 years, it gets much better, you become capable of "Not Going There" again in our thoughts, and when you chooses to re-visit it, you find out "Wow it's now my own choice!" when previously you went there and had no control over it... Time heals a lot, but the scars is always present, but it doesn't bleed on it's own, you have to pick it to make it bleed.
I pray this time you need to be fully well again is short.
Love,
Pebble
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